What happens to elves after Christmas? Is there an elf graduate scheme?
Sadly, no. They mainly try to gain any kind of employment which, in a struggling economy, is surprisingly difficult to do. You might think that by having 'worked as elf' on your CV, job offers would come flooding in but it turned out not to be the case. Playing it down by writing 'Grotto helper' didn't work either. There was a limit as to how much you could claim the skills you obtained elfing would help you immensely in your new career in a call centre / solicitors / recruitment firm. The post Christmas unemployment wilderness is a difficult place for us elves. We mainly just met up, had coffee, and wondered around the spot where the Grotto used to be, envious of the cleaning staff who still had jobs.
But then, then, Ice remembered children! Children love elves! Ice started working in a nursery. The children, the tears, the vomit, the inexplicable stains on your clothing - it was almost like being in the grotto again. Almost. It was like the grotto without it being Christmas, and without Santa, and without a novelty costume - so, it was horrific really. Through an unexpected act of providence, a Christmas miracle you could call it had it been Christmas, Ice got an offer to work in a secondary school. Kind of as an undercover agent to resurrect belief in Santa amongst the 11-18 year old age bracket. Kind of. Or as a Classroom Assistant.
So what about this year? It's almost Ice's season again! Maybe she'll get to reclaim her name as Twinkle!
Well...around August, Ice received a letter asking her to elf again. Being in full time employment, she um-ed and ah-ed about what to do. The grotto was a magical place, but would it be as magical second time round? Would it be the same doing it only a few hours a week - as a part-time elf?
No! Elfing is something one must be committed to 100%! And also, the elf employing company needed more hours than Ice had to give.
Today, Santa came to town. I went into town to watch his arrival, complete with a terrifying float, some unexplained people in Noddy costumes, and two elves. I didn't recognise them. I think their badges said Ice and Twinkle.
*****Here endeth the adventure of the elf formerly known as Twinkle, latterly known as Ice*****
P.P.S
* Bounce now works in a sandwich shop but is working a few elf shifts a week. I saw her today and she looked unhappy.
*Snapshot has had various jobs but has recently quit her current one to dedicate herself to another year's elfing.
*Santa A is still as amazing as ever despite various health problems througout the year.
*The grotto is smaller this year and has no moving tree and singing raccoon.
*I intend to spend a lot of time sitting creepily around it and pretending I still work there I'm just not in costume and no longer get paid.
