The Chat Up

A surprising amount of people like chatting up elves.


You'd think the garish, ill-fitting costume, the skin rubbed raw by excessive face paint and the fact that every time we move a bell rings, would have a negative impact on our attractiveness, but apparently not. 


Bounce generally gets the older men, older older. I think it's cause she's from Mauritius and men in Belfast over 60 are still amazed they have met someone so exotic, even if she is dressed as an elf.


Snapshot gets the middle-aged. Often married with a glaring wife. This is partly because she knows and has been out with a large percentage of the middle-aged population of Belfast.


And Ice. Ice attracts the younger crowd. Generally 13-18, sometimes toddlers. It's always full of awkward adolescence and finishes with the crushing realisation that I won't come home and play video games with them because I am actually 10 years older than they think. Oh yeah, and married. 


But all of us agree we are definitely receiving more attention in the grotto than we have anywhere else. I sure Freud would have a field day.


In reverse, Magic, the only male elf, stands all day ogling the beautiful Chinese girl who works at the stall behind us. He has yet to stay hello.