Everyone, at least once in their life, should try doing ordinary things dressed as an elf.
This week, for the first time, I took a toilet break during a shift. The nearest facilities to the grotto are in the food court upstairs so I got the escalator up and began working my way through the crowd and various fast food chains. I had seen a few heads turning but it wasn't until I was outside KFC that I noticed the tension in the atmosphere. A boy turned to me as I tried to slip past; 'You're Santa's elf. What are you doing here?' he said accusingly. I realised he was voicing what everyone was thinking. I was dressed as an elf, and this was not somewhere I was welcome. At any moment I expected leftover pieces of pizza and fried chicken to be thrown my way amidst chants of 'Out Elf!'
I made it to the bathroom safely and joined the queue. There again I felt the heat of suspicious glares, as if the people behind me were angry that one of my kind was preventing them from getting to the toilet quicker. When I was finished a little girl watched me wash my hands. Part of me felt bad, like I was ruining some kind of illusion; elves go to the toilet too. But then I thought it would've been much worse if she'd watched me not wash my hands.
Yesterday I went to the bank to get more change for the grotto. As I approached the desk, I couldn't help feel that as I was in costume and everything, they half expected me to, and perhaps I should've, held them up and robbed the bank. I didn't.
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