The Fear

99% of 1-3 year olds are terrified of Santa.


They're fine with the concept of Santa, and the concept of seeing him. They excitedly queue ready to meet the man who can make all their toy filled dreams come true. They've even waved at him from a distance with such joy that Mummy and Daddy can't say no to their pleas to visit the grotto. 


They're even okay when the elf comes  to get them. They excitedly totter round the corner; then freeze. At this point the accompanying adult will do one of two things. They will, either, tired and irritated by the wait and wanting to get the stupid photo over and done with so granny/granddad/auntie/uncle will be happy, throw the infant at Santa, ignorant of the fear and desperation that is rapidly sweeping over their child. This drop and run photo shoot never works. Having been forcibly dragged across the floor and twisted onto Santa's knee the child is in the highest state of anxiety it has ever known. It will do anything to get away. 


As the adult attempts to replace the child, legs and arms are extended to prevent any flexibility of movement - a scene reminiscent of trying to place an unwilling cat in a cat box. Tears are streaming, cries are getting louder and screams of 'no, No, NO!' reverberate through the grotto. The child clings to the guardian with such vigour, grabbing hold of any shred of clothing they can reach, desperately clamouring back to safety. They can't understand what they have done. Why someone they previously loved and trusted would take them to such a place and force them to be with such a frightening man. A world has been shattered. I feel like a prison guard, complicit in a ritualistic torturing of children. 


Parent A will get increasingly annoyed, attempt bribery with the promise of treats later in the day, and angrily inform the elf to just take the photo despite the fact they are probably blocking the lens and the child has run away from Santa. At the suggestion that they sit in the photo with their child they recoil. 'I don't wanna be in the photo!' they exclaim, and wonder at their child's reaction. This scenario, 15 terrible photos later, eventually resolves in the adult giving up and taking the best of the bunch, or demanding a refund.


Parent B lets the child take its time. Santa offers them his hand and they choose when to come closer. They may still cry at the initial lift, and still frantically reach for rescue, but with a bit of Santa magic and some well timed distractions, a passable picture can be achieved. 


Thankfully in photos, crying can often be mistaken for laughter. The tears are hidden by the light of the flash.